Bored

Its been a month since I have been at home doing nothing. Experiencing a lifestyle that came highly recommended by a lot of my close friends.

Was fun for the initial few days.. the catching up on sleep, eating, watching TV (after such along time), reading and basically being more lazy than your body was happy to be.

Now I am just bored and worried that my brian cells may be dying.

...

Its funny how some things mean so much to you that you constantly think about it and suddenly everything falls in place..the initial thought losing its power .. the new revelation intriging and research worthy.

As long as this happens life seems like a breeze.. ocmplications start, when a single thread of thought refuses to leave, when no answers fall in place and when the thought becomes so powerful that it draws other fillings of issues - until it becomes this giant question.

A question whose power can be dispelled only with a multitude of answers.

Mixed Doubles

A stretch of poverty as I zoom from one "prosperous" part of the city to another

The life of doubles

Doubles of the will to stand your ground while the cliff awaits

Doubles of narratives filled with color set in the past

Existing with my own fading memories

Doubles of the alternative self

Doubles of writing to understand and failing to comprehend

Doubles of wishing for pain for fear of bliss

Doubles questioning how long we live - for today or forever

Haze

When the world is gloomy
Held in haze
Smoke emerges from the homes
Nothing penetrates
No vision of where the path leads

Faces around me grieving
People aging as I see
The only trace of sanity – the face of the madman
The god within is out on sweet slumber

The dusk inspires a moonless night
Only the vague flicker in those eyes can bring my faith back

I try to jump hoping that the sorrow would bleed itself away
But the life blood has coagulated
Turning me to stone

A Penny

Nothing of what we are comes easily, modesty, emotion, patience, perseverance...nothing we fall a thousand times over or soar with pride and only then do these actions become a way of living... they become me.

Circumstances in life give you nothing... maybe a vague direction but it is you who gets to carve a path. So is the serial killer justified in his choosing his path? Who decides whether he is justified in his actions... and whether at all one needs to decide that. If you do decide that he is right or wrong what credibility do you hold?...what circumstances drove you to decide that.

The butterfly effect of events is one theory – underestimated or estimated, I need to still figure out. The question at the end of all this is do circumstances drive a man/women to be who he/she has become or is the human driving his life to reach those circumstances. Are we wrong in weighing each situation ….are we right in looking out to the future way beyond necessary?